Our Beautiful Mind

Today is definitely MY day for rambling on LOL. - Thank you Snoopy :-).  Eric, you are definitely up next :P  Apparently in Earl Nightingale’s The Strangest Secret the strangest secret is that “we become what we think about.” Now that is YET another interesting concept! And not unlike The Secret or What the Bleep Do We Know!?

Do we become what we focus on?

Are our daily lives governed by what we think, feel and do?

Nowadays there are so many ideas available on how we should lead our daily lives. What we should change to make our lives better…There is a take from every imaginable angle - Who knows where one should begin! Which one is right..Which one is wrong…The possibilities are endless!

Are we all mindless? Do we really need someone to tell us how to think and feel. Or are we all lost, caught up in our own endless misery that we forget what is important to us and how we want to live?

Or do we just need to be reminded about how focusing on the simple pleasures and joys in life can make it that more pleasurable!

You tell me…

Thank you to YellowSunray and Twinks for the visit last night ?. Both Eric and I have missed your ‘spur of the moment’ visits which have generally ended up being very eventful evenings LOL. It’s always a pleasure sharing your unique views on life and Jeff Dunham’s Achmed, well what can I say – we NEVER get tired of listening to his mutterings!!!

Eric – I thoroughly enjoyed our time with ‘Norma Jean’ ? I definitely think you should take time out each day to explore your creative side. Music is part of you and I love watching you express that side of yourself.

Note To Self: Practice What You Preach! *blush*.

As for the conversation that we had, I DO know how you feel. There is nothing worse than feeling let down by life and by people that are close to you. Especially when you had taken on chance on them, when previous experience had taught you otherwise. With this in mind, don’t forget ‘To err is human, to forgive divine’ we all make mistakes and sometimes unintentionally we do more harm than good! Even I am guilty of that! *gulp*.

Another Note To Self:

Does yesterday help with today? NO! Does tomorrow help with today? NO! Why…Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow isn’t even here yet!

The only day I have to worry about is today, and the only thing that’s matters is what I do with it! Live and be in the moment! Deal with what’s happening now and my thoughts and feelings around it. Living in the past - be it a day, a week ago, a year or a decade ago – does not serve me and is definitely not good for me!

Enjoy today for what it is!

Eric,

I know there are days when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired!! I know you are even more sick and tired of being told how to be! From today just be Eric, the Eric YOU want to be. We will all love you for it! (And on the off chance that we don’t, then we weren’t worth it any way!)

Love Ya,
Boo

It’s Sunday morning and all is quiet *sigh*

At least reasonably quiet! LOL Especially considering that there are four kids in-doors keeping themselves busy! We had six in total yesterday,  (our three, the ‘lost boys’ and Eric’s friends son) all I can say is again THANK GOODNESS for the pool which seems to provide them all with endless hours of fun.

It has been a hard couple of weeks, Eric found himself in a ‘mixed episode’ as his psychiatrist termed it, and it has been an extremely difficult time for him. Circumstance, an unfortunate clash with friends and general ‘day to day’ things that were going on around him only seemed to aggravate things and left him feeling even more angry and despondent with life.

Time, some drastic ‘meds’ changes, a great deal of effort on his part and support from his family have finally started paying off and I was pleasantly surprised when he woke up on his own yesterday morning with a smile on his face

In amongst all of this going on, we managed to do some really great things with the kids!

We celebrated Mongooses 11th birthday at the A-maize-ing Mazes, she had a lovely day and is definitely on the up and up. On the whole she seems very pleased with life at the moment which is great to see!

We took the kids to a Christmas party at the country club with Snoopy and Phoebe and except for Toad passing out due to the heat (panic stations on my half LOL), we had a lovely time. Thank you Snoopy! We also had a surprising visit with Eric’s ex - she popped in to collect the girls after the Christmas party and to both mine and Eric’s surprise ended up staying for dinner. Great for the girls - as I think it has been a while since they spent time with their parents without the usual arguments.

On Friday evening we also attended Monks ballet concert which was really cute! (She still has her moments, but seems a bit happier with life). We went out for dinner with Snoopy and The Baron afterwards, and we had a lovely evening. Thank you to you both

As for me, tired but happy Emotionally it has been hard on me too! Seeing what Eric was going through and not being able to really help left me feeling frustrated. Then not really having an idea of how he felt until I watched the Stephen Fry series only to find out later on, that although I got a bit more understanding of bipolar disorder out of it, it was not the best thing for Eric as it just worsened how he felt. So for future ref, no more research on bipolar disorder… Eric’s has a disorder, that’s all, his life should not have to be defined by it!

Eric,

My usual 2 cents worth LOL! It’s great to see you feeling more positive about life, I know it’s hard (especially when you feel like everyone is telling you what to do) but I think with the way things are going and if you make the changes that YOU feel you need to, life will just keep on getting better and better.

I am so looking forward to spending our December together with our brood, I hope that you are too

-Boo

The Economic Downturn Can Bring Depression Panic Attacks

Anxiety is one of those feelings that is really covering up some other problems in your life. People who have mental health issues can often have a lot of scary thoughts that make no sense to them. For example, they may have some enormous feelings of anxiety that they don’t reveal to anyone else. I have a friend who was scared of strangers. She couldn’t hide her fear because in our town we had so many apartment complexes with people coming and going all of the time. Everything she needed was within walking distance of her apartment. She was so afraid of going out that she would order her meals and groceries to be delivered so she wouldn’t have to leave the house. Finally, She went to see a therapist and it turned out her real anxiety was due to some suppressed mental health issues related to her family life. It seems odd at first glance, but stress often operates like a self-defense mechanism.

With the downturn in economy, everyone is feeling the pinch. I tackle daily fears, just like many others, of not being able to provide, and getting into worse debt. What I can suggest perhaps, is to cut back on all non-essentials, and get your essential bills in order. Logical enough point, but do you know how many people don’t seem to be able to do this. If you’re in debt, make an arrangement with that particular institution to pay them off- they can’t do anything to you if you’re at least paying them something. Try to take it one day at a time, and remember to tell yourself that it will get better and the slump can only last so long. Be positive about the situation- there is no point in getting anxious over something you cannot change or you have no control over.

When You Should Look Out For Depression Mental Health Issues

If you have unreasonable fear of something you may want to consider that your fear is covering up another problem. The anxiety works to distract your mind. It’s like displaced anxiety. Most of us can figure out what the real problems are in our lives if we just open up our minds to the truth. But you will have to make a commitment to deal with the honest truth.

Social anxiety can present as stress signs of a very particular social situation. It can also impact all aspects of a life outside of the house. In some extreme cases, people might try to completely remove themselves from any and all stressful situations that have been known to trigger extreme feelings of fear.

If the social anxiety condition is properly diagnosed and treated, there is a very good chance a person can overcome the situation. In many cases , a combination of medications and/or therapy will be prescribed to help a sufferer regain control over their life and social situations. Being a little apprehensive in public situations is not at all abnormal. If there is a family history of mental health issues , this can play a role in helping determine the right treatment for anxiety.

The Symptoms Of Depression Panic Disorders

Since many of the symptoms of panic attacks also mimic life-threatening and serious physical conditions, it is almost always advised that a physician be the one to determine the root cause. Even if the triggers are “obvious” social anxiety, such as an extreme fear of strangers,being in public or going to job interviews, a physical evaluation is almost always called for.

I was reading though the Mental Health Forum today when I came across this thread on this British series on Manic Depression with Stephen Fry. Luckily it is available on You Tube. I highly recommend watching it.

The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 1 (part 1)
The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 1 (part 2)
The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 1 (part 3)
The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 1 (part 4)
The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 1 (part 5)
The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 1 (part 6)

The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 2 (part 1)
The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 2 (part 2)
The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 2 (part 3)
The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 2 (part 4)
The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 2 (part 5)
The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive 2 (part 6)

You can also download the The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive Booklet Here

- Boo

I haven’t posted in a while, a lot has happened, but I’ve felt rather demotivated and despondent. I wake up in the morning feeling grumpy and angry again which I don’t like, because no one around me deserves to have that around, and I don’t need to feel like this.

The problem I have is that I battle to motive myself. I get into the swing of things for a couple of weeks - just like with this site - and then I let them fall by the wayside. I then sink into a depression because I’m demotivated, and become demotivated because I’m depressed, and so the snowball effect begins. I try to put positive energy out but it is rather difficult when you are despondent. I realise that this is just putting out more negative energy into the universe, and so I must try to remain positive even if the challenge is great.

I think that with a bit of practice and determination I will change my mindset from this negative outlook to a more positive, profitable one, I just need to believe that I can do it within myself, and think as many positive thoughts a day as I can.

-Eric

We had a great weekend with the girls - they spent most of it in the pool which left them sad to leave on Sunday, which made Eric’s weekend ;-) YAY. There is often a battle of wills on Sunday mornings, as the girls when feeling bored, ask Eric if they can be taken home to their Mum earlier than usual (wanting to spend time with their friends there) - which hurts his feelings and then they get upset when he says no. Not the best way to spend a Sunday at all!

Mongoose (Eric’s eldest) not only got some time to herself, but she also got to go on a ’sleepover’, she spent the night with a girl her age in the complex which definitely seems to have changed her outlook which was rather ‘dark’ on her previous visit. She was very cheerful and mischievous for most of the weekend, which was a pleasure to see.

Monk (Eric’s youngest) still seems a bit stuck, and often resorts to ‘nobody loves me’ when she doesn’t get her way. She managed to work her way into the middle of our bed on Saturday night, which left both Eric and I rather grumpy from the lack of both space and sleep on Sunday morning. But at least she seemed happier - I definitely get the feeling that all of this has made her feel very insecure (understandably, Toad went through the same thing!) but hopefully overtime she will come to accept that this is unfortunately how things are and that although her parents live in separate homes, that she is loved by both of them and that she doesn’t need to be reassured all of the time.  

We also had Eric’s wonderful Gran with us on Saturday :-) I do so love spending time with her - we ‘drove’ her down to the pool so that she could spend the day with us, the kids and some friends of ours. She seemed to enjoy herself, especially while watching the kids splashing and carrying on in the pool. Eric had to ‘rush’ her to the car when a huge storm broke LOL, but luckily it was late afternoon and we were ready to call it a day!

All in all a great weekend and to ‘put the cherry on the top’, Toad managed to wrangle an invite with Eric to go to see where the girls lived - which meant … that when they got home Eric was in a fairly cheerful mood after entertaining Toad with a ‘hot potato’ in his mouth all the way home.

Just a quick note to Eric

I know how hard it is for you, especially on a Sunday when you have to take you girls home. It’s hard for me to watch you do it, especially knowing how you feel about it all! I know how much you miss you old life and how much you wish you could get it all back. So, thank you for not only a fantastic weekend, but for also doing your best to ‘hide’ how you feel, so that I might not be hurt by it. It is ‘muchly’ appreciated.

- Love Boo

Wow, I must just comment that your posts are really great. I cannot believe how far you have come…for anyone reading the posts, your writing is inspirational. Whilst reading, something struck me. Its really quite funny to me how the experiences and frustrations shared by people diagnosed with bipolar are really just the same as those experienced by anybody else. I guess what I mean is that perhaps it is just varying degrees of awareness that sets people apart, and its probably the very experience of being diagnosed that facilitates this! Your posts not only appeal to those dealing with the difficulties of bipolar or any other disorder, but are totally relevant to anyone! You should keep them and compile a book…you could call it “for those who need it and those who think they dont!”:-)

I watched a movie called The Secret on Thursday night. It’s about how you can actually control your life and destiny by the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction - what you think, you attract. So if you are in a negative mood all the time, you will attract “bad luck” to you.

This really got me thinking, because with my moods and depression, I have to really work hard to get into, and stay, in a decent mood every day. There is a story in The Secret about a man who carried a little rock around with him, and every time he touched it he thanked God for something, whether it be his family, or his car or house. He called it his gratitude rock. Anyway, a foreign friend of his who had seen this rock asked him to send him some Gratitude rocks, as his son was very ill, which he did. He went out and chose some really special rocks from different places and mailed them to his friend. A couple of months later his friend emailed him to tell him that thanks to the Gratitude rocks his son had recovered, and they were now selling other Gratitude rocks for ZAR 10.00 and donating the proceeds to charity to help build a clinic in the area! This really touched me, and I decided to give it a try - try looking at what you have, and what you’re thankful for, rather than worry about what you don’t - so I found a rock, and every time I touch it I think about what I’m thankful for.

My children came to visit this weekend, and what a wonderful time we all had. Thinking about all I had to be thankful for really lifted my mood, and my kids noticed it. By the time it was time for them to go home, they didn’t want to leave! That is a real feather in my cap so to speak, because a few months ago, they wouldn’t have had nearly as good a time!

Try the principle of The Secret, what do you have to lose? And if you can make yourself feel better while you apply the principle, then what a bonus!!

-Eric

Before I was Diagnosed (and after, come to think of it) My kids’ lives were hell. I took out all my anger and frustration on them, and this just confused them further because they could never understand what they had done wrong.

It can be tough for a parent who has depression to manage a household. Not only do you have to take care of the kids, you also have to deal with your issues. Sometimes your depression, bipolar disorder or your fears can interfere with your job as a parent. What can you do to get better?

The first step is that you should talk to a professional who can get you started on the right path of getting better. Getting help from a counselor is very important and can provide much help and insight in dealing with your problem.

In addition, here are some techniques a parent can use to help manage their fears and depression.

Learn to manage your depression and taking care of the kids at the same time. Parenting is a 24 hour job and so is taking care of your mental health. It has taken me nearly a year since my separation from my ex-wife to be able to give my children proper quality time. If you become overwhelmed ask your spouse or other family members for help. Learn to share the responsibilities in the household. Communication with the other members of your family is very important. I’m battling at the moment with issues between my ex-wife and I that is leading to failed communication over the kids’ well being.

Learn to manage your negative thinking. Instead of focusing on your anxious thoughts try to think of something positive. Read a short book or read some affirmations that will make you feel better. Remember not to dwell on your depressing and fearful thoughts.

Be able to organize your daily activities so you do not become overwhelmed. Set some time to reduce your anxiety and stress when your not taking care of the kids. If the kids are at school, take a walk or do something enjoyable that will make you happy and relaxed.

It is not easy to deal with your depression and fears. Once you get some help from a professional, things should become easier. Remember that there is hope for you and there are ways to deal with your fears as a parent. Just be patient and not give up.